THE CASTLE & THE CONQUEROR
I
Imprisoned in her castle tower lair
She kept her drawbridge nose up in the air
Her distant eyes refused to look at me,
down, from her tower made of ivory
Her stunning castle walls looked great
Eighty– fifty– eighty-eight
To penetrate this fort, I’d find
A match of mathematic kind
So, to besiege her distant balcony
Depended on my clever strategy
Like woman there is only one
A swordsman’s work is never done
II
To reach this castle woman so remote
I’d swim across her frozen lava moat
I’d carry with me gifts of many kinds
My courage well perfumed with pungent wine
It costs pursuing love, I guess
On credit – ‘though not limitless –
I’d purchase her some shoes of glass;
If wrinkle-proof, a looking glass;
Un-censured, Casanova’s memoirs;
And, just in case, a Freudian cigar
Like woman there is only one
A swordsman’s work is never done
III
I wrote a note, to set her ardor free:
“My pen is glowing at the thought of thee”
For second line I wrote it once again
And, in a bottle, shipped the note and pen
Returned upon the evening tide
I found her sphinx reply inside
And felt I’d soon be kissing her
She wrote: “Come, free this prisoner
Whom you will find here in the nick of time
With luck before I’m too far past my prime”
Like woman there is only one
A swordsman’s work is never done
IV
To come prepared, I chose with utmost care
Some painted plastic flowers for her hair
Although for me, it was a size too big
I dusted off my huli-huli wig
With all the flowers, prone to wilt
I, dressed up in my Scottish kilt
began to race against the clock
I parked my herd next to a rock
I spurred my calves to reach the castle bank
And got there clocked at twenty seconds blank
Like woman there is only one
A swordsman’s work is never done
V
As proof our union would be heavenly
I brought a lunar stone I’d bought with me
Her gifts I carried using fencing gloves
To show this swordsman’s true undying love
With bundled gifts and mumbled prayers
I trundled up the tower stairs
I placed my flowers in her hall
Enough to fill five flower stalls
I knocked the door until it fell apart
Then yelled: “The doctor’s here to cure your heart”
Like woman there is only one
A swordsman’s work is never done
(… continued …)